Music Notes: Thorogood’s Drinking Song, “One Bourbon, one Scotch, one Beer”

Studio Version of the Song on You Tube Here

George Thorogood’s song “One Bourbon, one Scotch, one Beer” is my favorite drinking song.  It has a lot.  It has a blues guitar with just enough distortion to make it dirty and nasty – just like good blues is supposed to be played.  And, his voice.  Damn.  You get the sense that this dude just took a good swig right before singing the song.  Hell, you can almost smell the alcohol on his breath through the music.

And, the story – yes, the story makes the song work.  A dude is down on his luck and does not have a job.  His landlady harasses him for the rent.  He explains that he has been looking but has found nothing.  He goes to a friend’s house to ask to stay, but the friend’s wife is “funny” about that arrangement, and the answer is “no.”  So he decides to tell his landlady that he finally found a job to buy him time to pack up all his stuff in his room.  He packs up all his stuff and leaves out the back door.  Then, he goes to the bar and asks his bartender for the title of the song.

Notes on Russia 03: Observations about Russian Women

I made two business trips to Russia for a total of approximately three weeks. These notes are reflections on some of the events I experienced.

The women in Russia appear different. They act differently. I traveled in the southern regions of Russia, so keep in mind that perhaps these observations are local and may not hold true throughout the rest of the country – with the exception of the last event. We will learn toward the end of this article how to properly drink with Russian women. Read on. (Don’t stop until the last story.)

General Description of the Homes in the Area

The region appeared to be associated with what one would call the Third World. I am told that this region is not representative of all of Russia. The homes I saw as we traveled down the roads appeared to be disorganized, somewhat patched-up with whatever materials the people had at hand for repairs, and the color style suggested that the owners did not pay much mind to which color in particular the paint was, just as long as it was paint. This is my impression. I would not say that the people were living in poverty; poverty implies dysfunctionalism and wickedness. I sensed neither dysfunction nor wickedness. I would say that it appeared that they were just generally poor. The state of these homes reminds me of some places in rural America where one may find rednecks living in homes of various states of disrepair, but the people being generally content with their lives. I got the same sense in this region of Russia, but with one large difference – the ladies.

How the Women are Different

The women are different; very different. The women in this region were, with few exceptions, well dressed. In the United States, we would call this level of dress perhaps business dressed or at least business casual; the style would also suggest “classy,” since the clothing colors were usually dark or earth tones. In the United States, if I saw a woman departing the home of a redneck, I would expect her to be dressed badly, perhaps obese, with a bad haircut, and walking with a sloppy, unsure gait. However, these Russian women were slim, often pretty, youthful, well dressed, and they walked with a confident stride. Perhaps I should have taken some pictures, but that may have been considered bad manners just taking random pictures of pretty Russian women from some crazy American guy walking the streets. Maybe I should have just asked permission…but then again, my Russian is not that good yet. I did not want to be more of an ass than I am already.

The women I encountered in Russia were typically charming. It is the type of charm one may find in the Southern States (the old Confederacy) of the United States where women are expected to be delightful, feminine, and charming. (I also encountered this style among the women in the United Kingdom when I visited there – again, charming, feminine and delightful.) It is as if they are comfortable in their own skin as a woman.

How Good Russian Girls are supposed to Drink (I swear, this is a true story)

Well, one charming colleague of mine – a good Russian girl – explained to me how a nice Russian girl is supposed to drink strong drinks. This actually surprised me, so I will attempt to recall the conversation in detail. This Russian custom is sure to be very amusing to any American reading this.

We had gone to a restaurant in the foothills of the Caucasus Mountains for dinner with a group of five people. We ordered an appetizer, a pork entree, and a few types of wine. Perhaps we ordered other things, but I cannot recall anything else. I was sitting right next to this female colleague of mine – she sat to my right. The waitress brought out the wine glasses and the wine bottles. My female colleague gave me a request. The conversation went something like the following:

She: “Could you please pour my wine?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

She: “You have to pour my wine.”

This struck me as somewhat strange that I had to pour the wine for her, so I continued.

Me: “Why do I have to pour your wine?”

She: “Because if I pour the wine, then I would be an alcoholic.”

Well, I thought she was just joking with me at this point, so I figured I would do some joking of my own too.

Me: “Really? Well, what if I pour your wine, fill the glass to the top, then you drink it all, and I pour you another, and then another, would you still be considered an alcoholic?”

She: “No, because then it would be your fault.”

At this point the conversation was becoming hilarious to me. I had never heard anything quite like this in my life.

Me: “My fault? Really? What the Hell?” (черт возьми, мадам?)

I was probably laughing hard at this point. So, I poured her wine and she continued.

She: “A man has to pour the wine for the girls, or the girls are seen as alcoholics over here in Russia.”

So, there you have it, ladies. Do not pour your own wine or other strong drinks yourself or I can call you an alcoholic (And, you know I will). Just let me do the honors, and you can blame it on me. (You know, this sounds rather convenient!)

That is not all, my dear readers. My colleague also informs me that if a group of girls or women are at a table enjoying strong drinks and there is no man sitting at the table to pour the drinks, the girls have to call a male waiter to pour the drinks.

If I may use an apt quote from the Wizard of Oz, “Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.”

(Many thanks to my aforementioned colleague for reviewing this before publishing.)

Music Notes: Kansas – Point of No Return

Point of No Return Video - Kansas

Kansas had a knack for song climaxes that seemed to be yearning for some higher spiritual plane.  It is as if they wanted to ascend above the Earth into the realm of the Gods for a few minutes in a few of their songs.  Around the time stamp 1:24, it begins.  The lead singer is not bad as a tenor and can push the notes hard, but not over the top, which is good.  They sustain this climax for about 30 seconds, which is pretty long for pop music.

The lyrics are somewhat haunting for a pop song (I have highlighted the climax lyrics in red):

            Lyrics Courtesy Link Source

Point Of Know Return           

(Steve Walsh / Phil Ehart / Robby Steinhardt)

I heard the men saying something

The captains tell they pay you well

And they say they need sailing men to

Show the way, and leave today

Was it you that said, "How long, how long?"

They say the sea turns so dark that

You know it's time, you see the sign

They say the point demons guard is

An ocean grave, for all the brave,

Was it you that said, "How long, how long,

How long to the point of know return?"

Your father, he said he needs you

Your mother, she says she loves you

Your brothers, they echo your words:

"How far to the point of know return?"

"Well, how long?"

Today I found a message floating

In the sea from you to me

It said that when you could see it

You cried with fear, the Point was near

Was it you that said, "How long, how long

To the Point of Know Return?"

The writer seems to be writing about a subconscious premonition that something within him is about to change - and change drastically.  He instantiates it with lyrics about a ship approaching a danger zone, and a family wondering if they will ever get back their lost son.

Notes on Russia 02: Russian Language: My Impressions

I made two business trips to Russia for a total of approximately three weeks.  These notes are reflections on some of the events I experienced.

Note that I am no expert on the Russian language, and perhaps much of what I write here may not be precise.  I am just writing impressions from my own mind.

I had worked with a team of Russian customers for over a year before I made the trip to Russia.  I heard the language spoken, and skimmed through enough translated documents to the point where I could often make out the context of the document, although I had no specific knowledge of the script.  Still, I had no working clue as to the structure of the language for a long time, and I still do not.  I know French pretty well, and I can understand a lot of Spanish.  Even when I do not understand any particular French or Spanish word, I can usually use context and the Latin base structure of the language and words therein to usually get a solid grasp of what a particular text says, and often, what a speaker is saying.  However, this process does not work for Russian.  English has a Germanic base structure with borrowings mostly from French.  French has a Latin word structure with a Germanic base of subject-verb-object.  So, learning French for an English speaker is straightforward since context, base structure, and many words can be guessed at with a good chance of understanding, although many people will agree that French is not an easy language to learn, in any case.  Learning French simply means getting the verbs straight, the pronunciation right, and the addition of many vocabulary words, which often have English approximations.

Russian has no base structure or common words with English or French – except for a small list of common words that I have noticed on occasion.  It is a Slavic language written in Cyrillic letters.  So, the English or French speaker must learn a new alphabet, in addition to a new list of vocabulary.  Furthermore, Russian is not a language with grammar in the subject-verb-object format; it is a language based on the declension of words, which makes its structure similar in idea to ancient Greek and Latin.  The six Russian declensions are as follows: Nominative, Genitive, Dative, Accusative, Instrumental, and Prepositional.  (Those who may have studied some Latin may notice a pattern here.)  I am told that in Russian, one can place words in just about any position in a sentence (with some exceptions) since the declension of the word identifies its function, and not its position within the sentence.  (I must mention here that I have noticed borrowed words specifically from French and English while in Russia; however, the level of borrowing does not even approach a fraction of the level of borrowed words between French and English.)

I purchased a laminated card with basic Russian words and phrases from Barnes and Noble a few months back.  It allowed me to “get by” in the airports and in some restaurant situations.  Some of my Russian colleagues were amused at this card and called it my “Menu Russian.”  It came in handy at one point when I was instructing a service engineer in how to assemble a piece of equipment.  The particular guy was from the Czech Republic, and spoke no English.  However, he knew a little Russian, but many claimed that even his Russian was not that good.  Anyway, with this “Menu Russian,” many hand signals, and with his small list of English words, we were able to communicate more or less functionally, although when complex subjects came up involving time differentials and safety precautions, we had to call the translator.

To add to the complexity of learning Russian, in addition to the different base structure and letters, some Russian words require the blending of several consonants together, which is extremely difficult for an English speaker, and perhaps even more difficult for someone accustomed to the French style of pronunciation, since in French one must generally get the vowels correct for proper understanding, whereas in English, one must generally get the consonants correct for proper understanding.  However, in English, even though hitting the consonants are important, we do not have to blend long strings of consonants together, as is required with Russian. 

I had heard one Russian word in particular– or a set of similar words – for over a year, and on my second trip, I think I gained enough experience to pronounce the word perhaps not correctly, but at least understandable.  The two words are for “on” and “off” as in turning a computer on or off.  The word for “off” is as follows: выключен (pronounced “vyklyuchen” according to Google Translate, which is pretty close).  The word for “on” is as follows: включен.  The latter is supposedly pronounced “vyklyuchen” according to Google Translate, which is not correct.  My Russian colleagues claim that it is pronounced “vkl-ee-oo-chay-n.”  The trick I learned is that the first three consonants are jammed together hard, “vkl,” followed quickly by the blended sound “ee-oo” (or “yee-oo” said quickly).  This is not easy for an English speaker!  The difference between on and off is extremely important – especially on engineering projects – so, I did not want to use these two words until I got at least a functionally correct pronunciation.  Look at the differences in pronunciation:

·         v-uh-kl- ee-oo-chay-n                  (выключен)        (English for “off”)

·         vkl-ee-oo-chay-n                          (включен)          (English for “on”)

If you are not paying close attention, this can be a major screw-up!  Notice the jamming together of the three consonants for “on” versus only two for the word “off” in bold.

In getting around Russia, there are a few words that will get you very far with a few hand gestures:

·         Пожалуйста           (Pronounced “pah-zh-ahl-st-ah”)           (English “Please” or “You’re Welcome”or“ I would like…”)

·         Это                         (Pronounced “eh-tah”)                           (English “this” or “that”)

·         Спасибо                (Pronounced “spah-see-bah”)                 (English “Thank you”)

So, if you are in a Russian store or airport and you want to purchase something, you point to something you want and say, “Пожалуйста Это.”  When the transaction is done, you say “Спасибо,” and the reply is usually “Пожалуйста.” Just that can get you very far.

Two other words to know that can help during the inevitable times of misunderstanding:

·         Извините            (Pronounced “eez-vehn-eet-yeh”)          (English “Excuse me”)

·         Простите            (Pronounced “prohs-teet-yeh”)               (English “I am sorry”)

In listening to the language for a while, and while hearing certain recorded messages repeatedly over the Moscow airport sound system, I think there is a certain Slavic beauty to the language in its consonant blending and vowel blending.  It takes some time to catch on to the beauty of the sounds of the Russian language, but I am slowly hearing it the more I listen.

Notes on Russia 01: Police Bribes

I made two business trips to Russia for a total of approximately three weeks.  These notes are reflections on some of the events I experienced.

We were in a car on the way to work.  We were joking around as usual as good company team members should.  As we approached an intersection, a policeman with a baton quickly signaled the driver to pull aside to the left – he signaled this with his baton.  The driver pulls over.  He opens the door and gets out of the car.

(In Russia, you get out of the car and approach the police, in contrast to within the United States, where one must remain in the vehicle and wait for the policeman to approach the vehicle.)

We noticed that it was taking a long time to figure out what was going on.  One colleague of mine mentioned that something must be very wrong because the driver appeared to be arguing with the policeman.  More time passed, and eventually, the driver got out of the police car quickly, came into our car and told us he had to pay the policeman 10, 000 rubles (~ $320) for a bribe to get out of being accused of a Russian DUI.  He mentioned that the original request for a bribe was 30, 000 rubles (~ $960), but he bargained down the price of the bribe.  He either had to pay a bribe or get his driver license revoked for two or three years.  There is no fine for a DUI, we were told.  He ran to get the money from a nearby ATM.  The ATM was not working, but we found another way to help him out, it turned out.

We are told that in Russia, everyone knows that when the policeman stop a driver and accuses him of a DUI, the sum of the bribe amount is generally known.  However, in the above case, the original bribe was high (30, 000 rubles) because we figure that the policeman may have assumed that since the vehicle we were riding in looked in much better shape than the typical vehicle on the road in that area, we had more money.  The usual bribe for a DUI is around 10,000 rubles, we are told.

Supposedly, this type of behavior is common in Russia.  It happens all over the country.  Many young people in Russia appear to despair at the state of things with regard to the government, such as this type of behavior.

The Adults are Coming to fix the Mess in Science

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2012/01/what-happened-before-the-big-bang-the-new-philosophy-of-cosmology/251608/

Good news for a change. Some really smart people are digging in and trying to straighten out the mess in modern science that can usually be traced back to Heisenberg and similar types. Philosophy takes back its proper role having full authority OVER science, and indeed authority over every other field of study. The adults are coming!

Gang members arrested after boasting of murders on Facebook

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/19/us-crime-gang-socialmedia-idUSTRE80I2CI20120119

This is hilarious on so many levels. The problem is that these scumbags will not be killed by the state because New York, being so backward, does not have the Death Penalty for First Degree murder. Hell, Mike Tyson only got 5 years for rape. Empire State? Now, that is really funny. They once had a blind dude as governor; maybe he is still governor. I really feel for you guys Upstate.