Notes on Russia 03: Observations about Russian Women

I made two business trips to Russia for a total of approximately three weeks. These notes are reflections on some of the events I experienced.

The women in Russia appear different. They act differently. I traveled in the southern regions of Russia, so keep in mind that perhaps these observations are local and may not hold true throughout the rest of the country – with the exception of the last event. We will learn toward the end of this article how to properly drink with Russian women. Read on. (Don’t stop until the last story.)

General Description of the Homes in the Area

The region appeared to be associated with what one would call the Third World. I am told that this region is not representative of all of Russia. The homes I saw as we traveled down the roads appeared to be disorganized, somewhat patched-up with whatever materials the people had at hand for repairs, and the color style suggested that the owners did not pay much mind to which color in particular the paint was, just as long as it was paint. This is my impression. I would not say that the people were living in poverty; poverty implies dysfunctionalism and wickedness. I sensed neither dysfunction nor wickedness. I would say that it appeared that they were just generally poor. The state of these homes reminds me of some places in rural America where one may find rednecks living in homes of various states of disrepair, but the people being generally content with their lives. I got the same sense in this region of Russia, but with one large difference – the ladies.

How the Women are Different

The women are different; very different. The women in this region were, with few exceptions, well dressed. In the United States, we would call this level of dress perhaps business dressed or at least business casual; the style would also suggest “classy,” since the clothing colors were usually dark or earth tones. In the United States, if I saw a woman departing the home of a redneck, I would expect her to be dressed badly, perhaps obese, with a bad haircut, and walking with a sloppy, unsure gait. However, these Russian women were slim, often pretty, youthful, well dressed, and they walked with a confident stride. Perhaps I should have taken some pictures, but that may have been considered bad manners just taking random pictures of pretty Russian women from some crazy American guy walking the streets. Maybe I should have just asked permission…but then again, my Russian is not that good yet. I did not want to be more of an ass than I am already.

The women I encountered in Russia were typically charming. It is the type of charm one may find in the Southern States (the old Confederacy) of the United States where women are expected to be delightful, feminine, and charming. (I also encountered this style among the women in the United Kingdom when I visited there – again, charming, feminine and delightful.) It is as if they are comfortable in their own skin as a woman.

How Good Russian Girls are supposed to Drink (I swear, this is a true story)

Well, one charming colleague of mine – a good Russian girl – explained to me how a nice Russian girl is supposed to drink strong drinks. This actually surprised me, so I will attempt to recall the conversation in detail. This Russian custom is sure to be very amusing to any American reading this.

We had gone to a restaurant in the foothills of the Caucasus Mountains for dinner with a group of five people. We ordered an appetizer, a pork entree, and a few types of wine. Perhaps we ordered other things, but I cannot recall anything else. I was sitting right next to this female colleague of mine – she sat to my right. The waitress brought out the wine glasses and the wine bottles. My female colleague gave me a request. The conversation went something like the following:

She: “Could you please pour my wine?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

She: “You have to pour my wine.”

This struck me as somewhat strange that I had to pour the wine for her, so I continued.

Me: “Why do I have to pour your wine?”

She: “Because if I pour the wine, then I would be an alcoholic.”

Well, I thought she was just joking with me at this point, so I figured I would do some joking of my own too.

Me: “Really? Well, what if I pour your wine, fill the glass to the top, then you drink it all, and I pour you another, and then another, would you still be considered an alcoholic?”

She: “No, because then it would be your fault.”

At this point the conversation was becoming hilarious to me. I had never heard anything quite like this in my life.

Me: “My fault? Really? What the Hell?” (черт возьми, мадам?)

I was probably laughing hard at this point. So, I poured her wine and she continued.

She: “A man has to pour the wine for the girls, or the girls are seen as alcoholics over here in Russia.”

So, there you have it, ladies. Do not pour your own wine or other strong drinks yourself or I can call you an alcoholic (And, you know I will). Just let me do the honors, and you can blame it on me. (You know, this sounds rather convenient!)

That is not all, my dear readers. My colleague also informs me that if a group of girls or women are at a table enjoying strong drinks and there is no man sitting at the table to pour the drinks, the girls have to call a male waiter to pour the drinks.

If I may use an apt quote from the Wizard of Oz, “Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.”

(Many thanks to my aforementioned colleague for reviewing this before publishing.)